this was a little letter i wrote to my mom

Dear: Mom and Dad

Even using that word bring up images of pain, lonely nights and years questioning why I wasn’t enough for you. While I ‘am working to forgive you and my mother being human, the question remains. How on earth could you abandon me?

I needed you to help balance out my female-dominated life, be there to give me the talk about boys so that I wouldn’t have to suffer through my current state of bad relationships and empty voids. I taught myself how to ride my bike. You were supposed to be the first man/women to tell me that I’m beautiful and help me to know myself before anyone had the opportunity to label me. I was supposed to be your “little girls”.

I needed you and you didn’t care. How does one sleep at night not knowing if their own flesh and blood is breathing, eating, safe and secure?

I’m not sure if your lack of presence was a blessing or a curse. My pain runs deep just it does for my brothers and sister you’ve managed to abandon as well. You brought dysfunction into my life. My sibling are strangers. You were the first man/women to break my heart and I’m struggling to not hate you. a man/women that put himself or herself last does not abandon his family. What would you have lost by being in my life? I wasn’t a trouble child. I ate my veggies, I even finish high school. Your mineral contribution is an insult to who you could have been to me.

I’m sorry that you missed out on something and someone so great. But I guarantee that I won’t let your actions, break me. I pray that my children never have to go through that. My daughters know the comfort of their mother and father arm,their mother and father voice, mother and father loves, mother and father cares.
One day I’ll walk down the aisle without you again by my side. But then again I’m used to it. Thank you for the pain because without it I wouldn’t know healing, I wouldn’t know love, I wouldn’t know God.